


But if the story's over, why am I still writing pages?

by luversd



Series: SuperCorp Adventures [12]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Identity Reveal, Kara Danvers & Lena Luthor Friendship, Kara Danvers Needs a Hug, Lena Luthor Finds Out Kara Danvers is Supergirl, Nightmares, PA, Panic Attacks, Post Reveal, Sisters, friends break up, happy-ish ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-31
Updated: 2019-08-31
Packaged: 2020-10-04 08:42:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20468210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luversd/pseuds/luversd
Summary: After the reveal, Lena cuts all ties - professional and personal - with Kara Danvers. But Kara refuses to believe this is the end of their relationship.Supercorp friendship breakup





	But if the story's over, why am I still writing pages?

**Author's Note:**

> Title from 'Death By A Thousand Cuts' by Taylor Swift
> 
> Side note: I love Taylor Swift's new album. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy, drop a comment or a kudos if you do x
> 
> The characters belong to the CW and DC Comics.  
All mistakes are mine.

Cold shoulders and a clenched jaw greeted Kara Danvers as the elevators of the CatCo Worldwide Media building opened before her. Seeing the other passenger, the blonde hesitated before stepping inside. The silence was deafening and finally, the reporter glanced at the raven haired woman before speaking up.

'I'm sorry, Lena.' Their eyes met in their reflections; piercing green versus stormy blue. The superhero opened her mouth to resume her apology speech, but the businesswoman was quicker to respond.

'We're done, Kara. You and your friends have been lying to me for years. I don't trust you anymore, and clearly you don't either,' Lena Luthor's voice was devoid of any sympathy or affection and although she kept herself together well enough, it wasn't hard to see that the loss of her best friend cut her to the core.   
'Don't try to contact me, Kara. I don't want to hear from you or your friends. This friendship is over, am I making myself clear?'

The fallen tears on the Kryptonian's face were the only indication that the blonde had heard every word the Luthor had just uttered.

The elevator dinged at their desired level and slid open to reveal the CatCo reporting workspace. Black high heels stepped out of the metal frame to the CEO's office while a pair of flats stumbled towards the stairway leading up to the roof. Feeling emotionally and physically claustrophobic, Kara rushed to the open air in the hopes that the freedom of flying would help sedate the pain in her chest.

*   
'You should've seen her, Alex. She doesn't want to have anything to do with me, with us,' Kara pouted at her sister on the familiar couch in her apartment. The day's events had been running through her mind all day and she didn't know how to fix her newly shattered friendship, if that was even in the cards.

'Lena's hurting, and right now that pain has the upper hand over her love for you,' the eldest sister spoke carefully. 'She needs time to process this betrayal and in the end it's up to her to know if she can forgive you. I'm sorry, Kara,' she frowned softly, 'I know I'm the one who told you to keep your identity under wraps.'

Kara visibly winced at the word 'betrayal' and waved the apology off. 'Maybe, but the final decision to not tell Lena was all mine. Urgh,' she groaned in frustration as she sunk into the cushions. 'I should've told her when I had the chance. Now she hates me and I've lost my best friend.'

Alex wrapped her arms around the alien and pulled her closer. 'I don't know what will happen, but I will be right by your side through it all. I love you.'

Leaning her head on her sister's shoulder, the blonde sighed sadly, 'love you too. Do you think we'll be able to work this out?'

'I hope so, sis. I really do.'

* * *

The nightmares were an unexpected side effect of broken friendships. Kara Danvers didn't understand their meaning at first and she wished she'd never had, but it wasn't hard to see why her mind dreamt of Krypton's destruction followed by her home planet turning into memories of Lena and her. There she was in her pod, flying farther and farther away from a smiling Lena Luthor and straight into oblivion, also known as the Phantom Zone. This time, images of the green eyed woman filled her imagination and every morning she went through hell when she woke up and realised that Lena Luthor was no longer a Passholder to her life.

The reporter wasn't fine at all and as the bad dreams became more frequent, her main goal at night was to stay awake for as long as possible. She wasn't sure how things were going on Lena's side of town, but the Luthor seemed to have poured herself into her work. A week after their 'break(-up)', L-Corp launched a new and unique technology designed to enhance people's experiences with the world and facilitate social media use in a safely manner. Kara remembered jokingly pitching the name 'Opticus Prime', a reference to the Transformer who had bright blue eyes similar to the ones the product testers had had when they had tried the prototype on.  
While the L-Corp CEO was using her brain for a force of good, Kara felt like hers had turned to mush: every article she wrote was mediocre at best. Luckily, that was only one half of her job.

* * *  
**_Two weeks later _**

Kara Danvers was feeling manic. Admittedly, she was running low on sleep and her psyche left room for concerns, however an empowered determination ruled over her body on that particular Monday.

The blonde hadn't seen Lena at CatCo in two weeks so she concluded the CEO spent her days at L-Corp where there was no chance of them running into each other. However, the reporter knew there was a big meeting at the media house that day and she was sure of two things: a) Lena will be there and b) she will be there early to go over her notes. Kara was aware the Luthor hated interruptions while she was prepping for an important meeting, but she was desperate and not thinking rationally. So, without second guessing her actions, the blonde knocked on the glass door and entered before the businesswoman could look up and deny her entrance.

To say the Luthor was pissed would be an understatement. 'Was I not being clear enough when I asked you not to contact me or did you really think I would've forgotten the fact that you had been lying to me in the span of two weeks?' She raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms expectantly as she leaned back in her chair.

'You made yourself clear and I didn't think you would've forgotten already. I miss you, Lena-,' the reporter blurted out truthfully. She regretted not having thought this through as considerably as she probably should have.

'Don't,' the green eyed woman warned, 'get this through your Kryptonian skull, Kara. We. are. done.'

'I'm not giving up, Lena. I'll fight for us even if you won't. We're stronger than this, we can get through this, just don't shut me out. Please,' the Super begged softly.

'Can't you see?' The other woman smiled sadly, 'there's nothing left to fight for.'

Kara shook her head aggressively, as if that would undo the past events and unsay Lena's words. 'You may believe that, but I won't. If you ever need me, you know where to find me.'

The blonde woman supersped out of the office and out of the building. If Lena spotted the superhero putting out a fire in the city on the news, she couldn't help but be a little impressed. And if Lena noticed the reporter's absence during the meeting, she didn't question it.

*   
After a long, hard day came a long, hard drink. That was Kara's motto for the night. Her encounter with Lena hadn't gone to plan (not that she had had a plan), and the future seemed now more unclear than ever. That combined with the physical exhaustion that came with Supergirl-ing on a total amount of two hours of sleep per night, equalled in a stressed and tired Kara Danvers. She drank enough Aldebaran rum to forget about Supergirl, to forget about Lena and stopped, or more accurately, was sent home by M'gann who called Alex to come pick her up, when she couldn't say her name without slurring the two syllables it consisted of.

That night she slept like a baby. And although the hungover could be compared to a stampede of elephants crushing her head plus her throat feeling as though she had just breathed fire, she hadn't had a nightmare and that was worth all the pain and discomfort a hungover brought along.

So began the drinking days of Kara Danvers. At least this way she slept through the night, even though she didn't feel refreshed when the morning came and there was still a moment where she was half asleep and her brain hadn't caught up with her new reality. Losing Lena Luthor every time the sun came up was still painful, but it was better than the alternative. The Kryptonian was aware this wasn't a healthy lifestyle, even for her, but she knew she could kick the habit the second she didn't need it to function like a half-decent human being. She just had to let the wound heal and move on from the Luthor. Of course, that was easier said than done.

* * *   
**_Three weeks later_**

Communication with Lena Luthor had come to a standstill. It had been five weeks since the reveal and three weeks since they had last spoken. The blonde had conceded to the L-Corp CEO's wishes and she was slowly getting used to her new, dull life without the green eyed woman. It was hard not to think about the other woman 24/7 and even harder to refrain herself from shooting her a text. Kara couldn't recall any of her past breakups being so painful, but she had survived losing her whole world once. Resilience was written in her DNA and she believed she would come out of this in one piece.

The road to moving on from a Luthor was long and bumpy. The alien alcohol consumption had gone from 'raging alcoholic' to 'just enough to take the edge off and knock her out for eight hours'. The Aldebaran rum had become Kara's version of a teddy bear. The only problem with these dreamless nights was that her unconscious anxieties could no longer manifest themselves in her sleep. This resulted in flashes of nightmares and panic attacks during the day.

One of which had occurred in an untimely manner at her workplace. In hindsight, the Kryptonian should've anticipated that damned elevator would trigger her anxiety. As she fell to the floor and hugged her knees tightly, she had a sense of déjà vu. She tried some breathing exercices in an attempt to ground herself from the imaginary pod she was trapped in. Lena Luthor's beautiful smile shattered like glass at the touch of her hand.

_Breathe in. Breathe out. _   
_Breathe in. Breathe out. _   
_Focus on your senses. What can you hear, see, smell, taste, feel? _   
_Don't break the elevator, you can't afford to pay for the damage. _

Supergirl's supersenses were all over the place. She could hear a bird chirping, followed by a conversation between colleagues about last night's soccer game on the other side of town before being overwhelmed by the entirety of the sounds resonating from the CatCo building itself.

When the metal doors finally opened on the upper level, Kara sprinted out of the narrow space, ready to fly out of the window without a second thought when a soft hand grabbed her wrist and pulled her slightly floating body back down.

'You're in your civilian clothes, Kara,' a familiar voice spoke lowly. 'You can't go flying around as Kara Danvers unless you want them all to find out you're an alien.'

With that being said, the Luthor dragged the other woman into a windowless office in the hopes that it would provide enough privacy for the young reporter to recover from her panic attack at her own pace.

'Thank you,' the Super said softly once her breathing had evened out and her heart had stopped racing at an inhuman speed, startling the businesswoman in the process. 'Are we-?' She asked uncertainly, not knowing what this meant for their relationship.

'We're not okay,' the raven haired woman sighed. 'But I'm not going to let you accidentally reveal your identity when you're in a frenzy.'

Kara nodded understandably. At least now she knew she could still count on the Luthor when the stakes were high.

'Thank you for respecting my wishes,' Lena spoke firmly. 'It's given me time to think and to assess our situation from a more rational perspective, and maybe you're right,' she swallowed her Luthor pride before carrying on. 'Maybe there's something left to salvage here, but I'm not ready to forgive you yet, and until I am, I'm not sure we can move forward. I'm not asking you to wait for me, but to give me space until I figure myself out.'

'You're worth the wait, Lena,' the CatCo employee told her honestly. 'Whether it's five months or five years, you're one of the best people I've ever met in the universe.'

Knowing the superhero had had otherworldly adventures made the compliment ten times better. With one hand on the door handle, the young billionaire checked one last time, 'are you okay?'

The reporter gave her an enthusiastic thumbs up in response.

Lena pushed the door open and stepped aside to let the other woman exit the room first. 'Great, now get to work. The news won't report itself.'

'Yes, boss,' Kara smiled with newfound hope. Maybe they would be alright after all.

'And Kara?' The Luthor called. 'Thanks for not punching a hole through the roof this time.'

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading darlings x 
> 
> Tumblr: @luversd


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